Why I chose stained glass creation

I am not a maker of stained glass art, but an admirer of the skilled hands that create these gorgeous pieces.  I love the notion of taking cut glass of various colors and forming them into a tangible, breathtaking display.  A stained glass window is an appropriate metaphor for my life - it is the broken pieces of glass and God in his infinite wisdom as the Creator putting the pieces back together and making something beautiful.

I am not an addict, but I can in all truthfulness say I am a victim of addiction.  .  But anyone who is married to an addict, or the parent or friend of an addict is a victim, and if you are out there, you know the multiple struggles and rock bottoms that shake your faith, discouraging you will until it is a lifeless mass in your chest, and breaking your spirit until it shatters onto the floor like glass. As a young Christian, I falsely held onto the notion that nothing bad would ever befall my way, but as a maturing Christian I know that we live in an imperfect world and God will lovingly pick up the pieces and show us the way.

My ex-spouse is a gambling addict that ignored many warnings from friends, pastors, even enemies and chose not to change his ways.  His decision ultimately ended our marriage and ruined us financially, leaving me a single mother of four great kids.  In the beginning of this new and utterly scary journey, the Holy Spirit impressed upon my heart three simple words that have been a lifeline in this tumultous sea of tribulation:  'Heal, don't hide.'  Heal, don't hide.  Heal my heart towards all the drama and trauma that wasn't my doing.  Heal my spirit and allow myself to be led by God instead of hide my soul and be angry at God.  I wish I could say those three words are easy - they're not.  But the peace that comes in healing is worth far more than the bitterness that comes in hiding.  As a way of healing, I wrote and journaled and poured my emotions out on tear-stained paper.  Writing is so very therapeutic, and I encourage everyone to do it.

My goal for this blog is to speak with others who are in witnessing loved ones in the throes of addiction and suffering it aftershocks.  I want to pray with you, and receive prayer in return.  My journey is just beginning and my picture is not yet complete, but I know others are making this same journey too.  It seems lonely, like no one understands.  And the thought of sharing this information with your church can seem mortifying - what if they think something is wrong with you?  Please know that this is not the case.  There are many on this road; let's find each other.